Your Boyfriend Is Gay! And Other Such Truths.

Butterfly Glasses?!

Have realized that will never be able to say that have experienced all there is to experience as refused to try on the butterfly sunglasses at the optics store in the hell-hole that is the MOA.

I was afraid of them and I am man enough to admit it.  It was especially strange (terrifing?) to see the look of pure rapture the salesman (yes it was a guy... and a straight one to boot) eye as he pulled them from the locked cabinet (people would steal these?!) and attempted to place them on my head.

I was rather attracted to the rack of Burberry specs on one wall, but was able to make escape before a regretable purchase (I know, strange to place Burberry and regretable in the same sentence).

Guy-who-was-checkin-us-out was not there to flirt with, but we did manage to find several who were worth lookin' at.

Went to Transmission last night, was tons of fun.  Great music, great friends, and a wee bit o Vodka was enjoyed by all.  Even the others were relatively entertaining (watching straight guys trying to dance to Soft Cell is quite the treat, I encourage you to seek the experience).

Nobody's Diary

Ok, had a great day yesterday.

Purchased kick ass new shoes yesterday, purchased a new hat as well. 

Drinks were had with The Noah, R and his main squeeze Michael.  It's always refreshing to see R happy like that.  E da Cop was busy blowing up a house in N. Minneapolis (lucy bastard), so he was unable to join.

Spoke with my friend Kate yesterday morning for over an hour.  Haven't spoken to her in YEARS.  God I miss her!

Have decided to return to the MOA to assist R in the return of the Radios he purchased as well as the return of the shirt that is too small.  Will flirt outrageously with the uber hot boy that works in the Mens store and perhaps have some lunch.

Will also continue flirting with the other one I have found, as well as the one in Denver.

Orangina

Am sitting on the sofa.  Designing Women is on the tele.  Have not thought about work in 10 hours.

Although am vaguely freaked out by the picture of Shakespeare on my leather-bound volume of his works.  From where I am sitting it's like he's staring at me, about to say a quote from Macbeth.

Have decided that Benjamin Bratt is my new super-secret-must-not-tell-anyone celeb bf.

Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE my sofa?

Road trip is in order for today.

And those people at Crisco...  new slogan "Start something good with Crisco".  Millions of kinky Mo's the world over are all nodding their heads enthusiastically.

E-dub finished his tatoo and I can't wait to see it! (and he says that apparently the combined scent of all the stuff in the office got him all horny...  who'd a thunk it).  I love him though.

Am thinking of going on a man hunt during road trip.  I think R and I would catch me a good one.

Five things I am tremendously happy about right now.

1. Vacation days

2. Grapefruit scented candles

3. Roof Top Deck Parties

4. My rather sketchy artistic ability

5. Coffee of the decaf variety

Funnel Cake

Ok, so may have been a little overly bitter in the last couple of posts.

The truth is, Pride weekend has never been what one would call fun for yours truly.

This has all changed.

I met someone who, while only in my life briefly, has reminded me that I am indeed beautiful.  With his help, and the help of the ever indispensable R, I remember that I am quite a catch, that I don't attract only psychos, freaks, and losers.

It is my hope, that he will return regularly to the Twin Cities while I am in residence here.  It would please me to no end.

And now as the Post-Pride thunderstorm commences, I feel refreshed and cleansed (granted, the second shower of the day has helped tremendously as well).

I have effectively laid the issue of Him to rest.  It would be foolish to pursue something that is so completely hopeless and I value his friendship more than any potential of romatic happiness.  I find that his presence in my life, in whatever capacity that is, is best as it is now.

On other notes, received an email from friend Brian.  I enjoy getting mail from him and I miss him greatly.

Am thinking of holding another Big Gay Party on the 3rd or 4th for the holiday and my impending 5th aniversary of my 29th birthday.  Am hoping that if I do, it will be as successful as the first.  I am sure it will.

A note about Trish.  I hope she gains happiness.

Spoke with E yesterday!!!  God how I love him!  Am excited that he may be coming to visit with Alycia (my evil twin sister)!!  The havoc we will wreak on this city could possibly go down in legend.  And I can't wait for them to meet the posse here.  I think her and E da Cop would get along famously.

The Walls Have Ears

I would say what I think, but I can't.

When did I become such a wimp with that?!

Got sunburned yesterday. 

I would say that I hate The Gays, but that would mean I am a self-hating 'Mo.  And I don't hate myself.  Maybe The Gays just irritate me.

Yes, that's it.

Ok, that's wrong, really. It's all about me (and not in the Pop-diva-wannabe-meets-gay-self-interest way).  Believe it or not (and Eric knows this as we have spent the better part of our lives as friends and companions) I am terrified of people and I am not the best conversationalist on the small talk level (I actually hate it).

I want to have a hissy-fit.  I want to scream and yell and throw stuff at the walls, imagining Michael was standing there again. 

I want to run she-who-will-remain-nameless down with my car for telling me that only Freaks, Losers, and Psycho's will only ever be attracted to me, and then get some poor hapless stranger to run me down for believing her.

I am jealous of someone who I love dearly because he is happy.

I want a cigarette.

I want to go home and hear my Mom say everything will be alright.

I want to climb the steps to the roof top deck with a fully loaded semi-automatic and shoot all the happy couples and hookers that walk down the street or lounge in the park.

I want to cry and I can't.

I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.

I want to kick David in the ass for not getting his act together so we could go to London.

I will go to the parade and pretend to be happy and proud for who I am.

I am funny though.

No, really, I am.

We have come all this way...

Gay pride.

Brought to you Bud Lite.

Big Gay Success?

Well, my friends and countrymen.  The Big Gay Party was apparently a happenin' place to be.

Still, the only two that showed any interest in me ended up having more interest in each other.

Eva Braun.  I must have been Eva Braun.

But enough of the maudlin whine about the sad (and rather off-broadway-unrequited-love-story-that-closes-after-one-showing-and-is-not-even-bothered-to-be-reviewed-ness) state of it all.  I hereby resolve to pack it all up, and put it behind me.

Besides, I am just to damn...  oh, hell I don't know!

I still had fun though.  And R REALLY had fun.

hehehe

Who is that and why is he running?

Had a dream last night with that awful Swede (who really isn't a Swede, he just pretends to be).  In the dream, I was stuck talking with him over fondue while Noah whispered continually in my ear "Don't throw the sterno on him, you wouldn't like prison" like a Mantra.

Have been debating with R and T the virtues just putting him down like an old dog.

For those of you that know the rather irritating story, you know how grumpy I am at this moment.

Big Gay Party tonight!!!!

Big Gay Weekend!!! 

My Evil(er) Twin (Alycia) sent me a something that made me want to hurl and then laugh in that "look at the junky hoooker that once was my boyfriend" kind of way.

More on the Tube Map

One would think that making plans in this day and age would be easy.

One would think...

Due to a confusion of instant messages sent betwixt R and myself, ended up waiting for him at the 19 and he waiting at the Townhouse.

I got to play the jukebox and chat with Jason who no longer works at the Big Gay Coffee Shop.

At least we got to have a nice phone chat while at our respective bars, waiting for each other.

At least there was that.

The Transmutation of Nothing

Events transpired last night that one would think would move thoughts away from something, and while a great time was had, couldn't stop thinking about it.

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

T appeared to be in a foul mood after his sojourn to Sin City.  Will have to find out more about that.

Big Gay Party on Friday!! (am trying desparetly to sound excited by this)

All are welcome...

Must set up lights for party.

It's going to be too damn hot outside today.

Is this it?

Need to buy an A/C unit soon.  The heat is supposed to be unbearable later this week.  We'll see about that!

List:

1. Book travel for impending business travel to Concord, CA.

2. Arrainge lodging for vacation to home (Seattle) and Pitt of Despair (Tri-Cities) for later in August/September.

3. Do laundry.

4. See Allergist for an epi pen in the event of inadvertent ingestion or contact with Agave or Aloe (hand is still swollen from contact with it on Saturday).

5. Take nap when home today.

6. Get final plans and invite list for Big Gay Party on Friday.

Pastiche

Was in a foul mood last night.  Haven't been that angry without reason in a long while.  And am not even sure why.  Perhaps will never know.

All that is known at this time is that am still summarily crotchety and will most likely remain so.  Although that remains to be seen as well.

Take that Evil Step Sister!

So, in the midst of getting ready for the party at Stef's RTD this evening, me Mum calls.  Normally I would be all irritated by the interuption and try and get her off the phone as quickly as possible, but such tremendous news!!

She and Da have purchased property to finally build their retirement home!  They will be building the log home they have picked out in a about a year and will be deliriously happy far out in the country where my various evil relatives will most likely not go.  That will make them v. happy and it makes me v.v. happy as I won't cringe anymore at the thought of visiting them.

Fan-fuckin-tastic!

Get with the party happenin' people

Impromtu party on the RTD last night with neighbors.  Turned out to be loads of fun.

Until approx 3AM this morning when I woke up and proceeded to orally discharge everything I have eaten since the election of the last Pope.  I wasn't even drunk.  Went to Dr, and it is assumed that either I have food poisening, an allergic reaction to something I ate, or the stomach flu...

I am thinking it's ebola.

That's it!

Was walking home from a refreshing trip to the 'Buck moments ago, and was cruised by an 17yr old (approximate) drag queen.

Will check Revelations for this as possible sign of impending doom.

He didn't even have good hair.

The Beautiful South

Was listening to my Practically Perfect (in every way) collection of Cocteau Twins albums when something struck me.

No, literally.

A shoe.

Someone threw it from somewhere below with enough force to not only make it on top of the roof of my building but actually land in the middle of the deck and HIT ME ON THE HEAD!

Upon rushing to the edge of the deck and semi-launching myself over the edge to hopefully catch a glimpse of the culprit, the only scene made evident to me in the general direction of the offending footwear, was a (very) attractive young man pushing a pram with a laughing baby.  My mind immediately began swirling with thoughts of saturday morning cartoons.

Was this "baby" actually a tiny gangster?  Was I having a flashback from my mispent youth?  Was I actually hallucinating?

Pulling myself back from the brink of accidental death (and the sure knowledge that half of my family and friends would say "I always thought he would do it by pills" - bastards), I pondered the possiblility.  If this mukluk assault was indeed perpitrated by a dastardly midget gangster, would have I have recourse?

Sans Ice Cream

No ice cream.  Instead met R at Chatterbox for half a "pizza" and some fries and 1.5 beers.

Feel better.  R has that ability where I am concerned.

Just a simple nibble night for the kids on this Friday...  no outlandish cuisine as it's just to bloody humid to spend anytime in the kitchen other than what is needed for making salsa and guacamole (vile!)

Am in need of wine.  or maybe Vodka.  or maybe both.

Maybe will get nerve up to say something to HIM tonight....  although E of the C will probably hold me back as it he should.  I would just make a mess of things.

Happiness

Should move on...

But am unable too at this point.

Should tell him that am have deep and abiding affection for him

But probably won't - as have been unable too since meeting him.

Used to have no issue in saying things like this to people before.  Am not sure why HE is any different.

Will just say fuck it and eat ice cream.

So there.

That tree is evil

Spent an hour yesterday afternoon with a couple of neighbors violently hacking at that damn tree that is obstructing my satellite signal.

This has brought several conclusions:

1. Have become unwholesomely obsessesed with watching the tube.
2. Have decided to give in and indulge the watching of said tube.
3. Have also decided to finish the three books currently resting unfinished on  bedside table.
4. Have discovered that the hacking at trees is of no use in reception of signal.
5. Am still afraid of heights.
6. Will discover way of effectively multi-tasking the reading of books and watching of tube.
7. Have become afraid of hacking at trees while on the roof of ones building.
8. Must go back up and continue the carnage.
9. I really hate that damn tree.
10. That I have absolutely no idea what I am going to cook the people coming over tonight.

Well, to answer the last item.  Will cook meat of some variety as verification of my manhood.

That and hacking at a tree... but I've already covered that.

Up The Down

Have been v. tired as of late.  Who knew that project work could be sooo very very draining.  Have decided it's the boss.  Mr. Cleaver, we'll call him, is a very nice man, but somewhat irritating in his constant and unrelenting need to question everything.  Over and over and over again.  Am beginning to wonder if it will me necessary to kill him (metaphorically speaking, ofcourse...)

Friday dinner was good, the conversation even better, and it all lasted long into the night.

Had the rare opportunity to chat with Endo.  Suprisingly doing well in the EC this summer, and seems to be catching a man.  I still worry about him.

Set up.

Dinner at Azia lastnight with Stef and her neighbors and neighbor's (Eileen) friend who just moved back from London (lucky!).  Food was good, conversation even better.

Was invited to go to local 'mo bar that am not all that friendly toward (but not nearly on the level of That Fucking Bar, or The Bar Of Which We Do Not Speak OF) by Seth to meet other kids (E of the C, etc...).  Missed an invite from R to go to The 19 though, and ended up not calling him until after I got back from Azia and after I finished the irritating last minute bit of work that ambushed me and after going down to Boom! and after getting home at 12:30am, which was when I noticed he text'd me... 

He was understanding though.  And Seth and the kids were happy to see me.

I *heart* my friends.

Hate

As friend E da C says "My internal monologue...  gone."